1900-555-FAIL

A man checked into a hotel a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. He popped into a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs... Well, you get the picture! He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, what the hell, give her a call.

'Hello,' the woman said. God, she sounded sexy.

'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one... No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream - anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'


She said, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.'

LIOR

I am going to see this man perform tonight.
For the third time in as many years.
You are very jealous, I know.
Time will cure your pain.
For now, just listen and enjoy.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Worst Blowjob Ever

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ANZAC DAY

I know the times on this blog are a bit screwy, but today, April 25, is ANZAC DAY in Australia.

ANZAC Day is celebrated in Australia on 25th April every year

in rememberance of the lost lives of our fighting forces in all wars.

Australian and New Zealand Army Corps.

LEST WE FORGET.

Make Art from Spam and other Viral Marketing

Couldn't resist to post twice in a day. Sorry. I came across this while I was writing my dissertation the other year, and it provided some time wasting for a while. You send in your spam email (or use a default one), and it will email you a link back, and you can create a piece of art with it.

http://www.spamrecycling.com

From memory its a site run by a German utilities company. Which leads me onto the next site. This is one shared from a colleague earlier in the year. Nokia has also taken part with the viral like marketing with the Unloader. You seemingly upload a document, it prints it out, and then you can watch it be destroyed in a variety of ways. I think the destruction is the same film every time, but I have not devoted too many geeky moments to looking at it yet.

http://www.the-unloader.com/

Finally, a really silly one. Viral marketing that now has its own catchphrase in British discussion. Compare the Market is a popular comparison website for insurance and such, and began a viral campaign of "Compare the Meerkat". A Meerkat explains on the adverts that people are getting the sites confused, but the marketing team went and made the site. Aleksandra (the meerkat) even has a facebook, and habitually updates his status and/or posts things once or twice a day.

It is an amusing place to spend ten minutes, and you'll be proclaiming that everything is "Simples" from then on.

http://www.comparethemeerkat.com/

Bat For Lashes Video & Typos Galore

My brain-hand coordination has been awful today. Earlier on, I went to comment on Kate's Facebook status and meant to say, "It [Bat For Lashes' music] is truly fantasmo" and wound up typing "They are truly fantasmo." Because in my head, rather than the word 'music', there was a picture of eyelashes and there were obviously more than one . Then after hitting reply, I thought, "Wait... WHAT?" And then commented again saying I meant 'it is' instead of 'they are'. Then I almost commented a third time to say, "Oh but actually, the first sentence could be read as they (Bat For Lashes) are, so ignore my second comment because you probably don't realise what I'm talking about." But before I hit send, I remembered that Bat For Lashes is only Natasha Khan and there is no 'they', so just what kind of crack am I on? 

Earlier on, I also said to my friend, "he's a slut" after she told me there was this skank continually hitting on her boyfriend. And she got slightly offended and I had no idea why till I realised my 'he' was actually missing a crucial 's' at the start.

And, talking to Meghan on AIM, I just, not 2 seconds ago, called Maximus "Maximum". 

To console myself, I went on a search for typos that would make me look like the Grammar & Spelling Queen of the Internet. 

Anyway, I'm glad Kate posted that Bat For Lashes update because it reminded me of this odd video I saw last year. I don't even known why it creeps me out but it kind of does every time I watch it - especially when those 'animals' come riding their bicycles out of nowhere, then start jumping around on their bikes and slinking back behind her. It's reminiscent of how giant robots and animatronic creatures freaked me out when I was a kid. 

Kinetic Sculpture

This is the kind of thing I could just stare at for hours, amazed at how someone could even work out how to make them.

It's Okay To Be Gay

While surfing the FunnyOrDie videos, I came across a couple regarding gay marriage and the supposed problem with that - star studded casts in both videos fighting to SAVE the union between men and women. Awesome satire going on, and after the shit Miss California pulled at the pageant, I thought these were pretty appropriate.

A Gaythering Storm from Jane Lynch

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from Jack Black

Kind of makes me grateful to live in Canada. Well, more grateful.

- MEGHAN

Amazing innovation

Shuhei Endo & Laura Keeble

I don't really want to double post in my personal blog AND Team Supahero as that's fairly redundant, so I'm just going to link to two of my blog posts containing things that I thought also belonged here. Whoooa. Cross-referencing. The multi-blog dilemmas begin.

Check them out:

Laura Keeble (Art)

Shuhei Endo (Architecture)

Funny. Interesting. I love them both!

- Natalie

The Good, The Bad and The 90s

So after seeing PJ & Duncan (a.k.a. Ant and Dec) on that previous video Pam posted, I started thinking about all the good and bad music tha emerged from the 90s (mostly bad). I thought I'd start a little project in which we all post the songs we grew up with in the 90s. These songs aren't the songs YOU personally listened to and loved, but the ones you heard when you turned on the radio, the ones you danced to at every party, the ones you knew the lyrics to even though you despised them, and most of all, the ones that remind you of all the trauma and fun you had as a kid and teenager in that era.

I'll start off with my playlist and in the comments, list the songs that also apply to you. Then, think about the songs I did not have in mine, but that also shaped your 90s experience, and put them in your playlist!

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

If any of the tracks don't work, it's because Mixpod killed them and not because I didn't test my playlist before posting it. I don't know why but there are certain musicians who don't seem to want their songs used in this manner, so only remixes and live versions of their songs can be found. When someone uploads the original, it gets deleted rather quickly. Not sure if I picked any such songs...

There are two versions of 'Missing' by Everything But The Girl in my playlist because if I had to pick ONE SONG of the 90s that encapsulates the decade for me, it would be 'Missing'. The first version is one of the remixes, and the second version is the original track. I'm rather annoyed because Mixpod does not seem to have the specific Todd Terry remix of the song that I'm after, as that's the one that was the most popular at my school.

Oh and in case "Close To You" by Fun Factory did not sufficiently blow you away, here is another version of the song, complete with extra rapping. It is a fine masterpiece of a music video if I do say so myself. I mean, those sweet 90s dance moves. How will you ever pick your jaw off the floor and recover from the amazement?

HELPFUL MIXPOD TIPS

1. To create a playlist, go to Mixpod.com. You will find that hundreds of options pop up after you key in the title of a song. Which oh which will you select? Well, I have found that the songs that are NOT uploaded to Youtube load faster (they usually have a picture of a blank silver CD next to them, as opposed to the Youtube music, which has different colourful images). Of course, not all the blank silver CD tracks load equally fast so you usually have to play a few to see which loads the best. The fastest ones have loading bars that zoom to the end quite quickly. If a song seems to pause every few seconds when you play it due to the slow loading speed, it is best to pick another one (unless it just so happens that your own internet connection is extremely slow, and thus, all songs load slowly as a result).

2. Sometimes, a track doesn't have any versions with the blank silver CD icon, and all the versions are slow-loading Youtube ones. It's up to you but personally, I just wind up chucking out the song coz if it's going to take forever to load when I play the Mixpod, I get frustrated.

3. When you are customising your Mixpod, go to "Settings" and nix the autoplay, because if all our Mixpods autoplayed, our blog would be in trouble.

LOVE,

NATALIE

P.S. Wow. I actually managed to use all 5 blog categories in one post!

The Ugly Swan Song

Unfortunately, the ability to embed videos of Susan Boyle from YouTube have all been disabled. Suck. Still, click on this link, amigos, and tell me what your first impressions of her eyebrows are.

Click me, click me! Me, me, me!

As for her singing, I offer my six years of tertiary education in the field of voice to say that she's OK, and she'll sell a lot of CDs. The new Paul Potts!

Goateesaver

The Goateesaver by Scott Bonge

I saw the words 'goatee' and 'save' in the same word and thought: uh oh, no good can come out of this. Scott Bonge does not disappoint.




"Tired of the constant struggle every morning trying to get your goatee to look perfect? Goateesaver revolutionizes the way you shave and trim your goatee. Goateesaver can be customized to your face in seconds, with three easy adjustments. Just slide it over your mouth and shave to get the perfect look that women will admire and men will respect."
- Scott Bonge

It gets better.
There is a VIDEO!

- Natalie

Karl Lagerfeld & Sigrid Agren

Aloha!
I have something for you, Pammy.
A few moments ago, I was searching for something else when I stumbled upon this interview between Sigrid Agren (model) and your new idol, Uncle Karl. You are thrilled, I know.

Here you go...

Love, Natalie


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Spring, during Paris Fashion Week, Karl Lagerfeld unleashed another youthquake on the runway-tight, militant, and black, with exaggerated shoulders reminiscent of the designer’s 80s signature indulgences. No, it wasn’t for Chanel, but for his eponymous label, Karl Lagerfeld. Originally founded in 1998 as Lagerfeld Gallery, the brand has served as a playground for Lagerfeld’s wilder fashion instincts. The latest collection was a rock-minimalist take on the not-so-near future, with mod motorcycle helmets-done in conjunction with the upscale French helmet company Les Ateliers Ruby- which came equipped with compartments for iPods. Budding supermodel Sigrid Agren opened the show wearing one such helmet. Earlier in the week, the 18-year-old Martinique native took a few minutes out of her fitting for the show to ask the world’s most famous designer a few questions about life and work. we followed Lagerfeld through his fitting as well as backstage on show day to get a glimse of how Karl Lagerfeld does Karl Lagerfeld.

Sigrid Agren getting her make-up done
for the Gucci Spring 2009 RTW show.

Karl Lagerfeld: Who has the idea to name you Sigrid?

Sigrid Agren: Actually, my father is Swedish…

Lagerfeld: Do you know that your name comes from a half-goddess in Northern mythology?

Agren: No, I didn’t know that. Okay, my turn to ask you a question: DO you have a favorite piece in the Fall 2009 Lagerfeld collection?

Lagerfeld: This I can only tell you when our show is over, because as long as the show isn’t over, you can never get an impression. But I love the details of the motorbike helmets. It is so difficult for me to say. My opinion can be completely different after a show.

Agren: I love the helmet. How did you get the idea to make that?

Lagerfeld: it looks like the huge hairdos from the 1960s, which everyone thinks are pretty ugly. So the helmet is like a huge amount of hair, made of fur. And it’s for your music, because there’s a holder inset for your iPod and room for earphones, too. The helmet works with the technology that is useful in daily life.

Sigrid wearing the helmet in question.


Agren: Very nice. Where does your inspiration come from when you’re working on a collection?

Lagerfeld: A collection is not just one basic idea. It comes from something that is in the
air, something you suddenly like and put down on paper and then work out. People today are so used to taking one theme and staying with it all the way. I don’t do that . its about cut, about construction. I wanted shoulder, but a new volume, so I made what I call the Big Shoulder. I’m more interested in working out technical ideas than I am in themes or illustrating a scene or a country or whatever.

Agren: If you could do anything in your life over again, what would it be?

Lagerfeld: I don’t want to do anything over again, ever again. I want only to do what I haven’t done. There’s no “again.” There’s only the future. I hate the past – especially my own past.

Agren: is there anything you haven’t done that you’d like to?

Lagerfeld: Hmm…yes. I have got to stay with what I’m doing now…(hits hand on table) this collection…(hits hand on table) photography…(hits hand on table) books. There are three jobs for one person and that is okay for me.

Agren: What’s your favorite music right now?

Lagerfeld: It depends on the genre, but, for the moment, I like the latest Scissor Sisters CD. I also just got this CD of Yoko Ono and her son, who make very interesting music together.

Agren: Do you have an all-time favorite musician who you’ve loved forever?

Lagerfeld: Yes. Some of the musicians from the ‘60s, because there has been nothing better than them since, you know? What I like about music is the songs you can remember the lines of in a single second. The Beatles, The Rolling Stones… You can remember every line to their songs. But today, how often do you remember any of the lines to songs? I mean, I know Lily Allen’s last album is called IT’s Not Me, It’s YOU. (both laugh) But I don’t know how the songs go.

Agren: Where do you feel most at home?

Lagerfeld: Wherever I am now. Here

Agren: Here? At the fittings?

Lagerfeld: Yes, I don’t have the notion of the feeling “home,” or “Heimat,” as the Germans say. That doesn’t exist for me. I bring myself with me wherever I go, so it’s okay.

Agren: Okay. How do you look when you wake up?

Lagerfeld: That’s why I sleep alone. My hair is curly, and that’s why I have my ponytail. I look like a madman, like something out of a horror movie! But im very impeccable and clean before I go to bed. It’s just like right before I’m going out. When I was a child, my mother always told me that you could wake up in the middle of the night and be deathly sick, so you always have to be impeccable. I laugh about it now, but I think everyone should go to bed like they have a date at the door.

Sigrid's second look during Karl Lagerfeld Fall 2009.

Agren: What advice would you give me on becoming a supermodel?

Lagerfeld: That’s very difficult. I’m not a girl, but for a supermodel, my advice is that it’s based on… (hits hand on table) no justice. Its not because you want to be a supermodel, or because your mother thinks you’re a hundred times better than Claudia Schiffer. You can be a model like yourself, very elegant and chic, or you can become a kind of advertising PR person, like Heidi Klum. You can do whatever you want, but it isn’t really your choice. You want to know what the real secret is?

Agren: Tell me.

Lagerfeld: Its not being perfect. What one needs is a face that people can identify in a second. That’s why the girls who were famous in the ‘90s can still work for advertising. People know their faces. The little blonde Russian, Sasha (Pivovarava), has a face people can remember instantly, but for other models today, people think, Is she this one or that one? It’s very difficult, but, you see, in fact there is no advice, because all circumstances are very different. It depends on what you are ready to give, the kind of life you bring, what may be exciting or disappointing… You can’t accuse anyone of not doing enough to help you, because, besides yourself, there’s nothing anyone can do. You have to be given what’s needed by nature, and what’s needed is to bring something new. But it’s the most… (hits hand on table) unjust… (hits hand on table) thing in the world.

Agren: Thank you so much, Karl.

Lagerfeld: Well, it’s true, isn’t it?

Sigrid and Karl during the finale.

Birthday Calculator

Click on the link to see your BIRTHDAY CALCULATIONS,
then leave the bits you find most interesting as a comment.

A Smile That Explodes

Only one song this time - it's chill.
I've been listening to this a lot.

{Click the PLAY button on the boombox.}

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

- Natalie

P.S. I am going to reply to your email tomorrow B! 

Haven't had time. Sozzz.

33 Hours Of Hell, But I'm Finally An Aunty

-- PAMMY

Twilight Trailer Spoof

After going out yesterday and seeing about seven or eight different girls in 'My Boyfriend Is A Vampire' shirts, or 'I <3 Edward', I felt the need to make fun of it again. I don't know how I originally loved Twilight so much, and now the very thought of it makes me criiiiinge! Enjoy and marvel in the Twilight bashing!



- Meghan

Bang! BANG!

The perils of shooting for Vogue Italia.
Starring Jessica Stam.

Love,
Natalie

MixPod

Was curious about Natalie's MixPod and have fallen in love with the website. Hope you enjoy these tracks that I've been listening to lately. I think they're all beautiful!

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

- PAMMY

A Low Impact Woodland Home

((Note from Pammy: I think this is amazing. I hope Simon Dale doesn't mind me posting it here... I can't get how beautiful it is.))


SimonDale.net


You are looking at pictures of a house I built for our family in Wales. It was built by myself and my father in law with help from passers by and visiting friends. 4 months after starting we were moved in and cosy. I estimate 1000-1500 man hours and £3000 put in to this point. Not really so much in house buying terms (roughly £60/sq m excluding labour).

The house was built with maximum regard for the environment and by reciprocation gives us a unique opportunity to live close to nature. Being your own (have a go) architect is a lot of fun and allows you to create and enjoy something which is part of yourself and the land rather than, at worst, a mass produced box designed for maximum profit and convenience of the construction industry. Building from natural materials does away with producers profits and the cocktail of carcinogenic poisons that fill most modern buildings.

Some key points of the design and construction:

• Dug into hillside for low visual impact and shelter
• Stone and mud from diggings used for retaining walls, foundations etc.
• Frame of oak thinnings (spare wood) from surrounding woodland
• Reciprocal roof rafters are structurally and aesthaetically fantastic and very easy to do
• Straw bales in floor, walls and roof for super-insulation and easy building
• Plastic sheet and mud/turf roof for low impact and ease
• Lime plaster on walls is breathable and low energy to manufacture (compared to cement)
• Reclaimed (scrap) wood for floors and fittings
• Anything you could possibly want is in a rubbish pile somewhere (windows, burner, plumbing, wiring...)
• Woodburner for heating - renewable and locally plentiful
• Flue goes through big stone/plaster lump to retain and slowly release heat
• Fridge is cooled by air coming underground through foundations
• Skylight in roof lets in natural feeling light
• Solar panels for lighting, music and computing
• Water by gravity from nearby spring
• Compost toilet
• Roof water collects in pond for garden etc.

Main tools used: chainsaw, hammer and 1 inch chisel, little else really. Oh and by the way I am not a builder or carpenter, my experience is only having a go at one similar house 2yrs before and a bit of mucking around inbetween. This kind of building is accessible to anyone. My main relevant skills were being able bodied, having self belief and perseverence and a mate or two to give a lift now and again.

This building is one part of a low-impact or permaculture approach to life. This sort of life is about living in harmony with both the natural world and ourselves, doing things simply and using appropriate levels of technology. These sort of low cost, natural buildings have a place not only in their own sustainability, but also in their potential to provide affordable housing which allows people access to land and the opportunity to lead more simple, sustainable lives. For example this house was made to house our family whilst we worked in the woodland surrounding the house doing ecological woodland management and setting up a forest garden, things that would have been impossible had we had to pay a regular rent or mortgage. To read more about why we did it and why this is an important option to meet the challenges of climate change and peak oil, click here.

I Want A Dog Like This!

Meet Jasmine, the rescue dog who has become a surrogate mother for the 50th time

By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 8:11 PM on 31st December 2008

• Comments (0)
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Perfect mum: Jasmine the greyhound with Bramble, the roe deer she is currently caring for

When Jasmine the abandoned greyhound arrived at a wildlife sanctuary shivering and desperate for food, she needed all the love in the world to nurse her back to full health.

Now it appears the kindness and patience shown to her has rubbed off - for the rescue dog has become a surrogate mother for the 50th time.

Seven-year-old Jasmine is currently caring for tiny Bramble, an 11-week-old roe deer fawn found semi-conscious in a nearby field.

She cuddles up to her to keep her warm, showers her with affection and makes sure nothing is matted in her fur. In short, the perfect foster mum.

But then again, she has had plenty of practice, having cared for five fox cubs, four badger cubs, 15 chicks, eight guinea pigs, two stray puppies and even 15 rabbits.

Jasmine was brought to the Nuneaton and Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary by the police in 2003, having been found dumped in a garden shed.

She was cold, filthy and malnourished. It took a few weeks for her to fully trust staff at the centre but with tender loving care she was nursed back to full fitness.

Five years on, Jasmine is now the one looking after stray waifs.

Geoff Grewcock, who runs the sanctuary, said: 'She simply dotes on the animals as if they were her on, it's incredible to see.

'She takes all the stress out of them and it helps them to not only feel close to her but
to settle into their new surroundings.

'As soon as an animal is brought in, she walks over takes a sniff or two and then licks and cuddles them.

'It is quite amazing, particularly as she is a greyhound breed and they are usually quite aggressive, That is why they are used for racing.

Jasmine with another one of her 'babies'. She has cared for 15 rabbits in total

'Jasmine was abused when she was younger, the police brought her to us after discovering her whimpering in a garden shed.

'She was very nervous around us, she was caked in mud and dust and very thin. It took a while but gradually she got used to us and has been at the centre ever since.

'Having been neglected herself, it's a real surprise to she her show so much warmth and affection to other creatures.

'It's not just animals, she is great which children too, she is such a gentle, big-hearted dog.'

Bramble the fawn arrived at the centre two months ago after a dog walker came across her in a field dazed and confused.

Until she is old enough to be released back into the wild, she will continue to be cared for by Jasmine.

Geoff added: 'They are inseparable at the moment, Bramble walks between her legs and they keep kissing each other.

Happy family: Pictured from left to right are Toby, a stray Lakeland dog; Bramble, an orphaned roe deer; Buster, a stray Jack Russell; a dumped rabbit; Sky, an injured barn owl, and Jasmine

'They walk together round the sanctuary. It's absolutely marvellous. It's a real treat to see them.

'But she is like that with all of our animals, even the rabbits which greyhounds usually chase down the track.

'I remember we had two puppies that had been abandoned by a nearby railway line, one was a Lakeland Terrier cross and another was a Jack Russell Doberman cross.

'They were tiny when they arrived at the centre and Jasmine approached them and grabbed one by the scruff of the neck in her mouth and put him on the settee.

'Then he fetched the other one and sat down with them, cuddling them.

'She has done the same with the fox and badger cubs, she licks the rabbits and guinea pigs and even lets the birds perch on the bridge of her nose.

'It's very touching. Her maternal instincts take over all the time.'

SOURCED FROM: The Daily Mail and Snopes


- PAMMY

Goodnight, Sleep Tight

Sleepy time.

I offer you my bed bugs and this bedtime playlist.

Love,
Natalie

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

P.S. Pammy I have some vintage Team Supahero stuff I dug up for you.
Will show you later when I see you online. Bonne nuit!

Animal Wigs

Found these on my computer an hour ago.

I forgot I'd even saved them.

Is it horrifying that I actually want one?

- NATALIE