Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Fighting Your Moral Decay With Censordyne

I don't know if you guys know about this, but the Australian Government is spending $44 million on a "safer internet for Australia". They're trying to put into place some great big censorship which will PROTECT the wee babes of Australia from accidentally clicking onto something untoward when their parents aren't supervising their computer time. Yes, that's right. First, they're stupid enough to think that they can censor the internet and that the rest of us won't find some way around it, but secondly, they're dumb enough to spend $44 million creating an "internet filter" which will be rendered ineffective approximately an hour after it's finished, due to the ever-changing nature of the internet. Waaaayyyyyy to go, Australian Government. Of course, being Australians and living in a country that is utterly perfect, we have absolutely no need for that $44 million to be channelled into something useful, like, I don't know... upgrading medical facilities, looking after our elderly, getting kids off the streets, improving education, helping the homeless... We don't have problems like that in Australia, you see, so we have to spend all of our hard-earned dollars on creating a filter for a problem that we don't have.

Sarcasm aside, there's a FANTASTIC website that really puts into words how Australia really feels about the whole debacle. Ladies and Gentleman of the Internet, I give you:


Before we had the internet the world was a peaceful and safe place. Now with the internet it's mean and nasty.

Some sources tell us that the boogy monster actually lives in the internet.

From dentists, to news sources, to private conversations, there is plenty to be scared of online.

But don't worry, here at the Federal Government we have been working hard to protect you from the internet and that's why we've created Censordyne.

The internet is an amazing place. But here at the Federal Government we think it's a little too amazing.

That's why we've developed Censordyne - a mandatory way to censor the internet.

Censordyne lets the Government decide what you can and can't do online. From what you buy to how you communicate and even what you read.

Censordyne, developed in our secret Internet laboratory:

tickOffers protection against fast Internet
tickIs mandatory, for a cleaner feed
tickReduces your democratic protections
tickPretends to fight moral decay

All with a fresh multi-million dollar flavour.