Time is Beautiful

It's like when you're a kid, the first time they tell you that the world is turning and you just can't quite believe it 'cause everything looks like it's standing still... The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour. The entire planet is hurtling around the sun at sixty seven thousand miles an hour. And I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me, clinging to the skin of this tiny little world.

- The Doctor in Rose (2005), BBC Doctor Who

Timelapse Montage from Mike Flores on Vimeo.

One year in 40 seconds from Eirik Solheim on Vimeo.

White Winter Hymnal from Grandchildren on Vimeo.

You have to have humour to work in maintenance...

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe

sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The

mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,

and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never

let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas'

pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S)

by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an

accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

+++

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

+++

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

+++

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

+++

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute

descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

+++

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

+++

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

+++

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're for.

+++

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

+++

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

+++

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

+++

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

+++

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

+++

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

+++

And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget

pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

If Birds on Wires were Music - Jarbas Agnelli

Birds on the Wires from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.

Reading a newspaper, I saw a picture of birds on the electric wires. I cut out the photo and decided to make a song, using the exact location of the birds as notes (no Photoshop edit). I knew it wasn't the most original idea in the universe. I was just curious to hear what melody the birds were creating.

I sent the music to the photographer, Paulo Pinto, who I Googled on the internet. He told his editor, who told a reporter and the story ended up as an interview in the very same newspaper.

Here I've posted a short video made with the photo, the music and the score (composed by the birds).

I got curious and had a look at some of Jarbas Agnelli's other videos were. Clever advert marketing with music here:

"Beethoven"/"Jaws"/"New York, New York" from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.

What does a week mean to you? Although this is to advertise a weekly magazine, it made me wonder.

The Week from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.

If Facebook were like Real Life

1 Million Women For Climate Change

This is an Australian project, but I don't see why women from anywhere can't sign up and learn how to reduce their carbon footprint. We women can instigate change. Believe in yourself and your own power to change the world!

1 Million Women - A campaign of daughters, mothers, sisters and grandmothers
- Committed to protecting our climate, our communities and our future, leading
change for the better.

Our goal is to inspire 1 million Australian women to take practical action on climate change by cutting 1 million tonnes of carbon dioxide (CO2), the main greenhouse pollutant causing global warming.

Every woman who joins has a personal goal to cut 1 tonne of CO2 from their daily lives within a year of joining the campaign.

Here on our 1 Million Women website you'll be guided through ways to cut your 1 tonne, and to track your progress as you go along. You don't have to be an expert on climate change. Just join up and we'll guide you every step of the way. 1 Million Women - a million tonnes of CO2. It's a huge challenge. With your help, we will make it happen.

Check out the Ambassadors of this project.

Getting involved in 1 Million Women is easy - simply join, work out the activities that you can do to help, and follow the steps to start reducing carbon emissions. The goal of "1MillionWomen" is to empower 1 Million Women to collectively cut 1 million tonnes of carbon dioxide (CO2), the main greenhouse gas pollutant triggering climate change.

When you join, you will be taken to a selection of CO2 cutting activities covering your household, food, cars and getting around, flights, shopping and renewable energy.

Select activities that work for you and start cutting CO2 now. To stay on course to reach your 1 tonne saving, track your progress within the activity centre. By registering, you are joining daughters, mothers, sisters and grandmothers inspiring climate action.

1MillionWomen: Get Involved.

2-year-old boy smokes 40 cigarettes a day...

This 2-year-old Sumatran boy smokes two packets of cigarettes (that's 40 fags!) a day. He began his puffing when he was 18 months old, but his dad, Mohammad Rizal, is not worried because he thinks his son, young Ardi, "looks healthy".

"He cries and throws tantrums when we don't let him smoke. He's addicted," the father said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, I understand that we should cut this kid some slack because he must be bored growing up in a small fishing village with no Nintendo, broadband, cable and iPhone, but this is ridiculous. I would never let my 2-year-old smoke more than one pack a day.

.

School's Webcam Espionage

School allegedly uses students' laptop webcams for espionage, lawsuit ensues

By Ross Miller


Hold onto your butts, kids, we've got a doozy of a story. Let's take this one slow: a class-action lawsuit has been filed in Pennsylvania accusing the Lower Merion school district of "unauthorized, inappropriate and indiscriminate remote activation" of webcams in laptops issued to students, without prior knowledge or consent. The tale begins when Assistant Principal Lindy Mastko of Harriton High School informed a student that he was "engaged in improper behavior in his home"; the suit alleges that when pressed for details, Mastko told both the boy and his father that the school district could remotely activate the webcam -- a capability that is apparently being used.

The school district has yet to respond to the accusations, so at this point we've only got the plaintiff's side of the story -- for all we know this kid took a picture of himself and somehow accidentally uploaded it on the school network. Then again, some purported Lower Merion students just emailed Gizmodo and claimed that their MacBooks' green webcam lights went on at random times, but they were told by IT support that it was just a technical glitch. Holy alleged invasion of privacy, Batman, this could get mighty interesting. PDF of the complaint available below.

Update: The Lower Merion School District superintendent Christopher McGinley has issued an official response on its website, acknowledging "a security feature intended to track lost, stolen and missing laptops." Going further, he says the district " has not used the tracking feature or web cam for any other purpose or in any other manner whatsoever" but that the matter is "under review."

Boing Boing, WHYY

Lawsuit (PDF), Gizmodo


ORIGINAL ARTICLE

Ghost in the Machine

Do you remember the days of tape cassettes? Turning them over at the end of the side, the endless winding, the stretched tape after so much use. CDs felt revolutionary.

Erika Iris Simmons gives cassette tapes a new lease of life.



See more...

Obesity Competition

To honour International Women's Day, a shopping mall
in Shenyang (in China's Liaoning Province) held an
obesity competition.

I am amused (and horrified) by the fact that of all
the ways to celebrate women, the organizers picked
excess fat and a reduction in life expectancy...

Strawberry Bus Stop

Why isn't this outside my home?

.

Stop Motion Animation

This was a classic case of beginning reading twitter, then ending up going through half a dozen related tweets and people, and spotting this video recommended amongst them. Oddly enough, my guides (girl scouts) did some stop motion animation with plasticine only the other week, but this is really great.

Curry

Who doesn't love a good curry? Gosh, this is amusing. I must update with real things soon! Sorry, amigos...

-- PAMMY

NATAL CURRY CONTEST
If you can read this without blowing a piston then there's no hope foryou.
I was balling by the end. Note: Please take time to read this slowly.
For those of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is. They
actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion
of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB.
Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from
America.
Frank: 'Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off.
The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be
standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Beer Garden
when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges
(Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they
told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted'.
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy XXXX, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames
out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.

CHILI #2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chilli tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to
give me the Heimlich manoeuvre! They had to rush in more beer when they saw
the look on my face.

CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS 'BURN DOWN THE GARAGE' CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chilli peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium's pill. My nose feels like I
have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me
more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone
is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting XXXXed from all the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid, was
standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is starting to look
HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the chilli
peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can
no longer focus my eyes. I XXXXed and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chilli
had given me brain damage.
Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from
the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really XXXXes me off
that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.

CHILI # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices
and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I am definitely going to XXXX myself if I XXXX and I'm
worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind
me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass
with a snow cone ice-cream.

CHILI # 7 - SELINA'S 'MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE' CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli
peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am
worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is
cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like
it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry, which slid
unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At
least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop
breathing- it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If
I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold
but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 XXXXed, passed out,
fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's
going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot curry?
Judge # 3 - No Report.

The seller has been included with the shipping fee!

Hey guys!
I was trawling Ebay for a kelly green cardigan
today when I found this gem.

Great deal. Special offer. One time only.
THE SELLER HAS BEEN
INCLUDED WITH THE SHIPPING FEE!





The problem is... I've noticed that shipping is FREE.
Now, does this mean I get the seller for free, or does it
mean the seller is not included because there is no fee?

If the latter applies, then I call bullshit.
Way to get my hopes up, false advertising!!!

Words for women to live by

Words for Women to Live By J

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every colour.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

12. Remember, wherever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!

13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.

14. If it has Tyres or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

'Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there' 'Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today'.

MOVEMBER

Hi there, all supaheros! 

I have decided to support Movember this year by signing up as an official Mo Sista.   

During Movember (once known as November), men put down their razors for 30 days and grow a moustache with the aim of raising funds and awareness for men’s health – specifically prostate cancer and depression in men. The role of a Mo Sista is to support the Mo Bros in their life – brothers, boyfriends, Dads, uncles, cousins, husbands – and help them to raise funds. 

What many people don’t appreciate is that close to 3,000 men die of prostate cancer each year in Australia and one in eight men will experience depression in their lifetime - many of whom don’t seek help. Facts like these have convinced me I should get involved this year and I am hoping you will support me as I try and raise funds. 

To support me and the Mos in my life, you can either: 

•    Click this link http://au.movember.com/mospace/123243/ and donate online using your credit card or PayPal account 
•    Write a cheque payable to ‘Movember Foundation’, referencing my Registration Number 123243 and mailing it to: Movember Foundation, PO Box 292, Prahran, VIC, 3181.

Remember, all donations over $2 are tax deductible. 

Movember is now in its sixth year and, to date, has achieved some pretty amazing results by working alongside men’s health partners, The Prostate Cancer Foundation (PCFA) and beyondblue: the national depression initiative. Check out further details at: http://au.movemberfoundation.com/research-and-programs. 

To find out more information on Movember, check out http://au.movember.com.

Thank you in advance for supporting my on my Movember journey as a Mo Sista. 

Pamela Andrews

A little wisdom for you

This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing.. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed. Here goes...

My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car.

He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in:
"Oh, bull----!" she said. "He hit a horse."

"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbours all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth , the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.

But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one." It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

But, sure enough , my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.

It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother.

So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying more than once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage.

(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church.
She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.

If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"

"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

"No left turns," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.

As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."

"What?" I said again.

"No left turns," he said... "Think about it. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."

"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support.
"No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works."
But then she added: "Except when your father loses count."

I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.

"Loses count?" I asked.

"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."

I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.

"No," he said " If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."
My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving.. That was in 1999, when she was 90.

She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.

They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one.. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.

A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."

"You're probably right," I said.

"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.

"Because you're 102 years old," I said.

"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.

He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said:
"I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet."

An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:

"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have."

A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.

I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life,
Or because he quit taking left turns. "

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. & if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it."

Fighting Your Moral Decay With Censordyne

I don't know if you guys know about this, but the Australian Government is spending $44 million on a "safer internet for Australia". They're trying to put into place some great big censorship which will PROTECT the wee babes of Australia from accidentally clicking onto something untoward when their parents aren't supervising their computer time. Yes, that's right. First, they're stupid enough to think that they can censor the internet and that the rest of us won't find some way around it, but secondly, they're dumb enough to spend $44 million creating an "internet filter" which will be rendered ineffective approximately an hour after it's finished, due to the ever-changing nature of the internet. Waaaayyyyyy to go, Australian Government. Of course, being Australians and living in a country that is utterly perfect, we have absolutely no need for that $44 million to be channelled into something useful, like, I don't know... upgrading medical facilities, looking after our elderly, getting kids off the streets, improving education, helping the homeless... We don't have problems like that in Australia, you see, so we have to spend all of our hard-earned dollars on creating a filter for a problem that we don't have.

Sarcasm aside, there's a FANTASTIC website that really puts into words how Australia really feels about the whole debacle. Ladies and Gentleman of the Internet, I give you:

CENSORDYNE.

Before we had the internet the world was a peaceful and safe place. Now with the internet it's mean and nasty.

Some sources tell us that the boogy monster actually lives in the internet.

From dentists, to news sources, to private conversations, there is plenty to be scared of online.

But don't worry, here at the Federal Government we have been working hard to protect you from the internet and that's why we've created Censordyne.

The internet is an amazing place. But here at the Federal Government we think it's a little too amazing.

That's why we've developed Censordyne - a mandatory way to censor the internet.

Censordyne lets the Government decide what you can and can't do online. From what you buy to how you communicate and even what you read.

Censordyne, developed in our secret Internet laboratory:

Offers protection against fast Internet
Is mandatory, for a cleaner feed
Reduces your democratic protections
Pretends to fight moral decay

All with a fresh multi-million dollar flavour.

A rather graphic TV advertisement

Apparently, the British have got the right idea. In the local newspaper at home in Tasmania, they're debating the merits of showing this ad on Tasmanian television. I say DO IT! This ad frightens the willies out of me, and I don't text while driving! The next time you're a passenger in a car and the driver pulls out their phone, demand that they stop the car and let you get out to walk! Tell them that you're not prepared to ride in a car driven by a suicidal maniac.

Ever yours,
PAMMY

Sourced from an email

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to
ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

Do you remember when you were a kid; playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in the world did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say"

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!


Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this.It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my itunes.

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.


Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat b@stard before dinner.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

I wonder if cops ever get p1ssed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.


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- PAMMY

The wonders of the pentatonic scale

Neuroscience and music colliding.

I so want to try this out.